My Story
It has long been documented that colouring is a great way to de-stress, but I never really thought about it until the Adult Colouring craze came to the fore. It may sound corny, but colouring helps me battle my anxiety disorder, and continues to help countless people around the world do the same. So why is it only now that people are talking about it?
I have suffered with Emetophobia (fear of vomit/sickness) for 5 years, since having 2 horrendous bouts of Norovirus in 2010. I've had anxiety disorder for 13 years - since I was 17, as well as a struggle with IBS. For a time, I barely left the house. I suffered panic attacks at the slightest queasy feeling, and if I did go out, I could only stay within a couple of miles radius. Now, when my kids are ill I'll be cowering outside the door, not able to go anywhere near. At these times I feel worthless, a failure. I'm going through a good patch at the moment, but there were times when I got really low and didn't know how much longer I could carry on living in daily fear. I never considered that colouring might help me, until I remembered a time it had.
It was sometime in 2013, early in the morning at around 6:30 am. I hadn't had much sleep and my husband was off to hospital for an early appointment, so it was just me and the kids at home all day. I felt queasy from the get-go: my stomach can't cope with early mornings and I was worried that one of the children might get sick and I'd have to deal with it on my own. I ended up lying on the wooden floor in the living room as I usually did when I felt ill, breathing slowly and trying to calm myself down. I noticed one of the kids' colouring activity books on the table, and in my panic-stricken, mentally-basic state it occurred to me that concentrating on colouring might take my mind off the anxiety enough for me to function properly again. I pulled the book and pens to the floor, dragged it towards me and started colouring. I don't think I even noticed what I was colouring or colours I was using, I thought of nothing: I just coloured.
Before I knew it, the picture was done and I had spent 20 minutes free of panic. I had managed to overcome the terror without it getting to full-blown-attack mode, purely by concentrating my mind completely on what my hands were doing. I didn't feel so sick anymore, and my brain was clicking back online from being stripped down to one debilitating thing: fear. It took me from a high state of mental stress, to one of deep, meditative calm. Incredibly, it somehow didn't sink in that it was the colouring that had actually helped, I just thought the attack was over and carried on with my day. It's only since Adult Colouring has become a trend, and I've discovered a passion for it, that I realised how it had been a critical tool in my anxiety arsenal that day- and could continue to be.
Since then, I've coloured daily. It's been my motivating factor for creating this blog; to spread the word to others, and reach out to those who haven't discovered it. Don't get me wrong, it might not work for you and I know it's not a cure for anxiety, panic or depression. Thing is, if it helps just one person get through one panic attack, it's worth talking about. Living in constant fear is no fun, I know that from daily experience. Now I have realised and accepted that focusing the mind on one thing (in my case, colouring) helps; it's like I have a safety net there when I need it. And there's nothing as comforting as that.
I have suffered with Emetophobia (fear of vomit/sickness) for 5 years, since having 2 horrendous bouts of Norovirus in 2010. I've had anxiety disorder for 13 years - since I was 17, as well as a struggle with IBS. For a time, I barely left the house. I suffered panic attacks at the slightest queasy feeling, and if I did go out, I could only stay within a couple of miles radius. Now, when my kids are ill I'll be cowering outside the door, not able to go anywhere near. At these times I feel worthless, a failure. I'm going through a good patch at the moment, but there were times when I got really low and didn't know how much longer I could carry on living in daily fear. I never considered that colouring might help me, until I remembered a time it had.
It was sometime in 2013, early in the morning at around 6:30 am. I hadn't had much sleep and my husband was off to hospital for an early appointment, so it was just me and the kids at home all day. I felt queasy from the get-go: my stomach can't cope with early mornings and I was worried that one of the children might get sick and I'd have to deal with it on my own. I ended up lying on the wooden floor in the living room as I usually did when I felt ill, breathing slowly and trying to calm myself down. I noticed one of the kids' colouring activity books on the table, and in my panic-stricken, mentally-basic state it occurred to me that concentrating on colouring might take my mind off the anxiety enough for me to function properly again. I pulled the book and pens to the floor, dragged it towards me and started colouring. I don't think I even noticed what I was colouring or colours I was using, I thought of nothing: I just coloured.
Before I knew it, the picture was done and I had spent 20 minutes free of panic. I had managed to overcome the terror without it getting to full-blown-attack mode, purely by concentrating my mind completely on what my hands were doing. I didn't feel so sick anymore, and my brain was clicking back online from being stripped down to one debilitating thing: fear. It took me from a high state of mental stress, to one of deep, meditative calm. Incredibly, it somehow didn't sink in that it was the colouring that had actually helped, I just thought the attack was over and carried on with my day. It's only since Adult Colouring has become a trend, and I've discovered a passion for it, that I realised how it had been a critical tool in my anxiety arsenal that day- and could continue to be.
Since then, I've coloured daily. It's been my motivating factor for creating this blog; to spread the word to others, and reach out to those who haven't discovered it. Don't get me wrong, it might not work for you and I know it's not a cure for anxiety, panic or depression. Thing is, if it helps just one person get through one panic attack, it's worth talking about. Living in constant fear is no fun, I know that from daily experience. Now I have realised and accepted that focusing the mind on one thing (in my case, colouring) helps; it's like I have a safety net there when I need it. And there's nothing as comforting as that.